by Jim Dickens                 December 20, 2023

Somewhere around December 21st, is the darkest day in the northern hemisphere. Cloudy with low sun angle and the latest sunrise and earliest sunset characterize that day. There are many traditions and religious holidays old and new that brighten these dark days. I think a lot of it is by design. Reflecting back on 2023 in these dark days, the uplift I get comes from a different direction, my wife, Lori. She is the brightest light on the darkest day.

Our two sons got married this year and marriage has occupied a large amount of thought space. My opinion is that marriage is almost always your most important relationship beyond children and parents. You will spend more time with your spouse than any other human. You are tied legally together so that all significant decisions need to be done together. Your spouse will have huge impact on how good or bad living life is.

Reflecting back, Lori has propelled our lives forward instead of holding them back. She has taken joy in my joy as we have traveled the world this year. She was game to do things she didn’t think she would do like riding a helicopter on to a glacier then mountaineering on it. She sent me on fishing trips and was happy when I had a good one. She tried to see things from my perspective as we decided how to participate in weddings. Lori is the spouse who builds you up instead of dragging you down.

In these dark days, spending time with Lori is what brightens them most.

Last Goggle Text

My ironwoman niece in law, gave me a pair of excellent swim goggles on Lake Chelan, WA after looking at my 20 year old yellowed goggles in dismay. Since that time, July of 2022, I texted her pictures from places I use them. In 2023, they have been in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, the Tasman, Flores and Caribbean seas, the California and Mexico Gulfs, and numerous lakes and pools. The last stop of 2023 was the Gulf of Mexico off Marco Island, FL.

I am back home in Naperville, IL in December catching my breath, although the cold grey days have me making plans already. I plan not to venture quite so far abroad in 2024 and getting that pick up taking me on the road.

Still Traveling

Somehow I managed to only be home a few days in October. It was lots of fun with family, fishing and large mammals. Park City to Bozeman to Naperville to Baja, Mexico, to Naperville to San Francisco to Reno to Naperville.

Of interest was Baja, Mexico. My friend Pete was invited because of a cancellation to join a group of bluegrass musicians and their friends. I was invited to join Pete because his girlfriend cancelled. The trip to the Bahia de los Muertos was a mix of lows and highs and little in between. For example, our driver from the airport fell asleep and ran off the road crashing through a road sign shattering van windows, a low. The blue grass musicians were world class with many grammys and played tremendously every evening, a high. The slide show below has more of the highs.

The other travel was great and stuff I usually do. So here are a few pics from the various locales. The captions have comments of note.

Having friends and family taking you on adventures is the best.

Scotland to Utah

Our son, Jack, and his fiancé, Shelby married. With two weddings and chairing a charity event completed, whew, I went fishing.

Shelby and Jack planned a great wedding and had unScottish, warm and sunny, weather supporting it. Ninety or so people shared a weekend at Thirlestane Castle in the Scottish borderlands. There was a welcome party with lawn games Friday. Then we had golf, hiking and archery Saturday before the wedding. Post wedding there was a fine dinner in the castle ball room and raucous live music and dancing in the courtyard. The wedding ceremony itself had a Roddy the Piper play us into our seats and a welcoming officiant, Sandy, performed a wonderful warm humanist ceremony. We got to spend some quality time with Shelby’s marvelous family. Officially married, success!

With the events of July, August, and September over and Lori off to Germany with her sister Susie, I golfed and fished the balance of the month as a form of recovery. I stayed in Scotland a few days, then at home in Naperville and then out to northern Utah to finish out the month.

Retirement hectic stress

In retirement you relax but August proved to be jam packed with stuff that had to be done in August. I was co chair of the 50th anniversary Illinois Trout Unlimited celebration, my mom had a birthday and my son, Jack was about to married.

I am bad at event planning due to ennui. I don’t care if there are round tables or what do we do if it rains. Also when I’m responsible, I am unusually stressed about the unknown of events, like will people show up and will the entertainment be good. This is especially true of an event never done before like a 50th Anniversary. Luckily, I had a co chair, Kevin, who had confidence and experience. We soldiered through and had 200 people show up. The Trout Unlimited CEO spoke, the band sounded good, food trucks were used, children’s games worked, our partners handed out prizes and the weather was sunny. Success!

Mom and Dad have birthdays 3 days apart and this August was my mom’s first birthday without Dad. So I went to Philadelphia to see Mom for 92 . I added an extension to Stone Harbor, NJ to see some good friends, Dan, Steve and Dave, the beach and some Atlantic City golf over 24 hours.

My son, Jack, and his fiancé, Shelby decided to get married in Scotland, Labor Day Weekend. So the last week in August we headed across the pond to Stirling and Edinburgh for some pre wedding fun with friends and family. I like Scotland because while it has cool old stones, it also has affordable golf, great hiking and lots of elbow room. Its people are really nice as well. We rented cars and did walking around touristy stuff.

Once back in Edinburgh, right before heading for the wedding and celebrations, we had dinner with Shelby’s family. They are great, friendly, kind humans who are comfortable and fun to have a wedding with. We were staying in Scotland to start off September.

Big events with accountability, lots of travel and little time in between made it a hectic month. The plethora of great people and great experiences without disasters made it very enjoyable. On to September and another wedding.

Escaping Purgatory

I have always said, “Being engaged is being in purgatory. Get married as soon as you can.”

Son, Chris and fiancé, Sophie did just that. After finding out that our other son, Jack, wanted to get married in September as well, Sophie and Chris, decided to get married sooner rather than later. For a number of reasons, they decided on a micro wedding in Bali, Indonesia. Parents and siblings, a party of 12, would attend in early July.

From Chicago, Bali is far, 22 hours of flying, 12 hour time difference, crossing the international date line and the equator far. It’s also exotic and beautiful. And, as I have mentioned in a previous post, Sophie’s family is a joy to be with. Despite the distance, we really looked forward to the trip. We stayed at a jungle resort next to a waterfall that was luxurious and beautiful with the friendliest of staff. The cuisine was delicious with the opportunity to eat local dishes. Finally, there was a great lap pool some 30 meters in length.

In addition to the wedding day we spent some time as tourists. If you’re going that far then you should extend which we did. Bali has lots and lots of temples, mostly Hindu, monkeys and waterfalls. The whole wedding party enjoyed it immensely despite some inclement weather, rain.

The wedding itself was intimate and warm. Ben, Sophie’s brother in law, and Jack, Chris’s brother, conducted the ceremony. We were all invited to give blessings. Dinner with toasts and dancing after followed by a late night swim. It’s a really beautiful way to have a wedding.

It turns out that that Komodo National Park is only a few major Indonesian islands away from Bali. Just a quick two hour flight and our family less Chris and Sophie were in Labuan Bajo, Flores Island, Indonesia. It is farthest I have ever felt from home. Tourists are almost all Chinese or Indian and the few Americans there are young free spirits. Indonesia has thousands of islands to police so the rule of law is tenuous.

Zak and Emily planned out our adventure. We hiked up to a cool promontory, snorkeled at a pink sand beach with the best coral I’ve ever seen, and yes, we took a guided walk and saw dragons.

I have a low bar for weddings. Did they successfully get married? Sophie and Chris did way better than that. They brought two families together and started a wonderful life for themselves. They did it in six months from engagement to wedding escaping purgatory quickly!

New Old Stuff

Some old stuff still persists because it is good. For example good art gets preserved through the ages. So in June, I experienced three old things that are still here because they are good.

First, I took a fly fishing trip up into the “center of the Michigan mitten”, Grayling, on the Au Sable River. In 1959, Trout Unlimited was founded here. The Au Sable was a great fishing river that degraded due to a combination of clear cut logging and commercial fishing. The grayling fish was extirpated from its home town. So Trout Unlimited was founded to help cold water fisheries around the country recover. The Au Sable is the old original but new to me.

Grayling had just installed a high speed charger so the R1T was loaded and Kevin, a new Trout Unlimited friend, and I headed out. We got a call from our hotel saying, you can come up here but forest fire has knocked out the power and unless it comes back on you can’t stay here. Kevin and I decided to soldier on and got lucky as the power came back on late in the afternoon. We got a room and a charge for the truck.

We stopped by to see a friend, Carl, and his property on the river. His home was part of a resort that hosted presidents who fished before the river was degraded. We fished the river that is still healing but now quite healthy and beautiful. Beaver, mink, muskrat, eagles and ospreys joined us on the river. The sandy bottom was easy to wade and invited me into a little danger. I found myself after chasing rising fish a half mile from the nearest on shore path in the middle of the river in the moonlight. Wading a cold river for half a mile in the dark even with a sandy bottom felt dangerous.

Second, in 1977, my dad bought me a Grateful Dead greatest hits vinyl record. By 1983, the famous Grateful Dead song, Ripple, became a personal favorite. However, I was not a groupie and never made a concert. Well this past summer, I went to see the Dead live with my daughter, Emily and her boy friend, Zak. It was a perfect Chicago summer evening at a sold out Wrigley Field. I totally enjoyed the music and the pageantry that goes with a Dead concert. Old men in an old band that were new to me.

Third, Princeton University, founded in 1746, was one of America’s original colleges. My brother, Tim, my niece, Melanie and I had a connection that allowed us to play golf at their college course. Tim and Melanie had played there in the past as college golfers against the Princeton team. However, the old course at the old university was new to me. After a thunderstorm, I got to play and hear a few stories from Melanie and Tim. Getting to be with family during golf is one of the great experiences with great people that never gets old.

New old things are great!

40 Year Tradition

The Stackloaf Golf Tournament started in 1983 and has been held in South Carolina every year since. My good friend Stack, despite illness that now keeps him wheelchair bound, has faithfully organized it without fail. I have played in all but a few and it is always a highlight. When we were newly out of school, chasing careers and raising families it was a great escape to blow off some steam. It has kept college friends closely connected all this time and I’ve been told this is relatively unique and very valuable. I agree!

So in 2023, in a radical departure, the Stackloaf Tournament changed venue to Roganstown, Ireland for a special 40th addition. To round out the trip, I planned trip extensions. Surprise surprise, fishing before the tourney and golfing afterward.

Chet, Pete and I rented a car at the Dublin airport and drove south to Clonmel and fished for a couple of days on the River Nire and the River Suir. We were guided by Clonanav Fly Fishing, highly recommended. At one point, we were allowed to fish without guides on a lovely evening on the river Nire next to a 17th century bridge and a pub out in the Irish countryside. The pub although not open served us a few Guiness and we had the river and the pub ourselves. We commented this might be heaven.

Chet, Pete and I drove north to the Roganstown Hotel and Golf Club to start the 40th Stackloaf and join the others making us a crew of 16. One crew member, Kyle, worked for the CEO of Guiness for 10 years. He got us a special tour of the Jame’s Gate Brewery. We did a taste test of Guiness Zero versus regular Guiness Draught and found the difference indistinguishable. While ending my dry period in Ireland, Guiness Zero mitigated my alcohol intake significantly.

We played Roganstown, Royal Dublin, County Louth and the European Club. We had a dinner at Royal Dublin that required sport coat and tie. Predictably, we pushed that rule a little. We had the Stackloaf Tournament on the spectacular and difficult European Club golf course and I took second. Another Jim won. Of note, Jim plays the bag pipes on hole 18 every Stackloaf tournament to close out the round. It is always inspiring.

After the Stackloaf ended, Glen and I did a golf extension to Portrush, Northern Ireland . Royal Portrush is a famous course that regularly hosts The Open, (British Open). Glen had a connection that got us on. It was a long 3 hour drive. Glen beat me on 18. I think it helped in him thinking it was the best course we played in Ireland. Out to dinner, we ran into a wild man who owned the best pub in the world. He showed us around and telling us jokes and taking us behind the bar for free drinks. It was a wonderful end to two weeks and my first trip to Ireland.

It’s sad we won’t all get another 40 years together. However, time makes the relationships stronger with more memories and I’m glad to be at the 40 year point.

Going Dry: A new lifestyle

I started April with sinus headaches and a cough deep in my chest from a heavy lingering cold in March. After listening to a Huberman Lab podcast on the deleterious effects of alcohol, I decided my recovery would speed up if I didn’t drink. April turned into a dry month.

I went to a rock concert, Tedeschi Trucks, without any drug induced influences probably for the first time. It was great and alcohol wasn’t missed maybe because Tedeschi Trucks is really good. I found a coping mechanism to stay dry, non alcoholic beer. It seems much of my drinking is habitual; go to grill a burger, grab a beer; conversation with friends before dinner, have a drink. For those habitual moments, I found NA beer a great substitute.

My brother, Tim, turned 60 and we celebrated for a few days at the disneyworld of golf, Pinehurst. He is a great golfer who managed to play 12 seasons in high school and college (ask me how if you want) and still has a passion for the game. He used to qualify for his college team at Pinehurst so it was a fond memory trip as well. His son, Michael, and his daughter, Melanie, joined us. Michael shares Tim’s passion and Melanie shares Tim’s college golfing experience. My brother is my best friend and I don’t spend enough time with him so this was as much a gift for me as a gift for him. Pinehurst was awesome. Golfing without 19th hole alcohol, novel.

Had some midwest time so took the R1T to Michigan to chase steelhead and to Wisconsin to fish the driftless. Shirtsleeves in Michigan and two days later 3 inches of snow and 40 degrees colder in Wisconsin.

Daughter, Emily, wanted to see her brother, Chris in San Francisco, for her birthday so we went. Her boyfriend, Zak, joined us and we did some hiking and fun touristy stuff. A personal highlight was cooking as a family, what a great new experience organized by Chris’s fiancé, Sophie.

Returned through Reno from San Francisco to see friends and golf, hike.

I have broken down and joined a private golf course, Naperville Country Club. My increased golfing and the crowdedness of Naperville area public golf made the decision. Started playing in April. It’s working out.

Over the month of April I felt better and better. My new found health convinced me to continue May alcohol free. Old dog, new tricks, not a thing.

Full Speed

I have learned over the years that having the right cadence to adventures enhances the enjoyment. However in March, the adventures were just too good to miss and there was almost no down time.

We were still in Maui on the first of March on Wailea Beach. Chris and Sophie, son and fiancé, came and stayed with us making Maui so much better. Beth & Ted our old friends were still there so we snorkeled and hiked. I was offered by a company I am invested in a few days stay at a resort on Kona so Lori and I went there as well. We enjoyed getting out to see the great smoldering volcanoes of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa. Night snorkeling with Manta Rays had to be abandoned due to choppy seas. A quick slide show below.

Got home, unpacked, repacked, celebrated our 35th anniversary and I flew to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. One week and 35 years before I had my bachelor party there. My good old friend Dave still has a home there and we skied, downhill and cross country for 4 days. It was great to spend time with he and his wife, Nancy and some other friends Pete and his partner, Susan, and Mike and his wife, Liz. Glad I turned it around fast.

Flew home from Steamboat, unpacked, repacked and flew to the Bahamas, Green Turtle Cay and Abaco Island. Met my good friend Pete, the greatest fly fisherman I know, to wade the flats and chase bonefish and barracuda. He rents a house for the month of March and we take a golf cart around the island / cay then walk into the water and fish. I tied my first gotcha fly and caught bonefish on it. Also a shovel nosed shark got interested in my shuffling feet and gave me a good scare. Pete, being the greatest, caught a giant barracuda with a sensational cast.

Flew back to Miami picked up a car and drove Alligator Alley to pick up my wife at the Ft. Meyers airport and checked into our Airbnb on a canal in Bonita Springs. We went to visit old college friends Mark and Sue in Venice and childhood friends, Denise and Darrin in Bonita Springs. Both of them were renting houses with pools so we did that a couple of afternoons. I have a pair of excellent swimming goggles my niece gave me and I send her goggle pictures from around the world, like New Zealand and Maui.

Our house came with a kayak so we paddled around the canals and bays. One evening after being out late with Darrin and Denise, I noticed a large snook under the dock light at a neighboring home. Despite Lori cautioning me as I had had a few, I jumped in the kayak with my Bahamas fly rod and on the third cast hooked that large snook. It dragged me around the canal and crashed me into the neighbors dock. They came out to see what the commotion was about. Luckily they weren’t angry about the 11:30 pm disturbance but interested and happy to see my catch.

And of course we played golf. It was great fun to be with our good friends.

So it was March 27 and I had been to about 27 happy hours. With my low resistance, I now had a bad cold developing into bronchitis. I swore off happy hours until recovery and shifted to low speed.