Escaping Purgatory

I have always said, “Being engaged is being in purgatory. Get married as soon as you can.”

Son, Chris and fiancé, Sophie did just that. After finding out that our other son, Jack, wanted to get married in September as well, Sophie and Chris, decided to get married sooner rather than later. For a number of reasons, they decided on a micro wedding in Bali, Indonesia. Parents and siblings, a party of 12, would attend in early July.

From Chicago, Bali is far, 22 hours of flying, 12 hour time difference, crossing the international date line and the equator far. It’s also exotic and beautiful. And, as I have mentioned in a previous post, Sophie’s family is a joy to be with. Despite the distance, we really looked forward to the trip. We stayed at a jungle resort next to a waterfall that was luxurious and beautiful with the friendliest of staff. The cuisine was delicious with the opportunity to eat local dishes. Finally, there was a great lap pool some 30 meters in length.

In addition to the wedding day we spent some time as tourists. If you’re going that far then you should extend which we did. Bali has lots and lots of temples, mostly Hindu, monkeys and waterfalls. The whole wedding party enjoyed it immensely despite some inclement weather, rain.

The wedding itself was intimate and warm. Ben, Sophie’s brother in law, and Jack, Chris’s brother, conducted the ceremony. We were all invited to give blessings. Dinner with toasts and dancing after followed by a late night swim. It’s a really beautiful way to have a wedding.

It turns out that that Komodo National Park is only a few major Indonesian islands away from Bali. Just a quick two hour flight and our family less Chris and Sophie were in Labuan Bajo, Flores Island, Indonesia. It is farthest I have ever felt from home. Tourists are almost all Chinese or Indian and the few Americans there are young free spirits. Indonesia has thousands of islands to police so the rule of law is tenuous.

Zak and Emily planned out our adventure. We hiked up to a cool promontory, snorkeled at a pink sand beach with the best coral I’ve ever seen, and yes, we took a guided walk and saw dragons.

I have a low bar for weddings. Did they successfully get married? Sophie and Chris did way better than that. They brought two families together and started a wonderful life for themselves. They did it in six months from engagement to wedding escaping purgatory quickly!

New Old Stuff

Some old stuff still persists because it is good. For example good art gets preserved through the ages. So in June, I experienced three old things that are still here because they are good.

First, I took a fly fishing trip up into the “center of the Michigan mitten”, Grayling, on the Au Sable River. In 1959, Trout Unlimited was founded here. The Au Sable was a great fishing river that degraded due to a combination of clear cut logging and commercial fishing. The grayling fish was extirpated from its home town. So Trout Unlimited was founded to help cold water fisheries around the country recover. The Au Sable is the old original but new to me.

Grayling had just installed a high speed charger so the R1T was loaded and Kevin, a new Trout Unlimited friend, and I headed out. We got a call from our hotel saying, you can come up here but forest fire has knocked out the power and unless it comes back on you can’t stay here. Kevin and I decided to soldier on and got lucky as the power came back on late in the afternoon. We got a room and a charge for the truck.

We stopped by to see a friend, Carl, and his property on the river. His home was part of a resort that hosted presidents who fished before the river was degraded. We fished the river that is still healing but now quite healthy and beautiful. Beaver, mink, muskrat, eagles and ospreys joined us on the river. The sandy bottom was easy to wade and invited me into a little danger. I found myself after chasing rising fish a half mile from the nearest on shore path in the middle of the river in the moonlight. Wading a cold river for half a mile in the dark even with a sandy bottom felt dangerous.

Second, in 1977, my dad bought me a Grateful Dead greatest hits vinyl record. By 1983, the famous Grateful Dead song, Ripple, became a personal favorite. However, I was not a groupie and never made a concert. Well this past summer, I went to see the Dead live with my daughter, Emily and her boy friend, Zak. It was a perfect Chicago summer evening at a sold out Wrigley Field. I totally enjoyed the music and the pageantry that goes with a Dead concert. Old men in an old band that were new to me.

Third, Princeton University, founded in 1746, was one of America’s original colleges. My brother, Tim, my niece, Melanie and I had a connection that allowed us to play golf at their college course. Tim and Melanie had played there in the past as college golfers against the Princeton team. However, the old course at the old university was new to me. After a thunderstorm, I got to play and hear a few stories from Melanie and Tim. Getting to be with family during golf is one of the great experiences with great people that never gets old.

New old things are great!

40 Year Tradition

The Stackloaf Golf Tournament started in 1983 and has been held in South Carolina every year since. My good friend Stack, despite illness that now keeps him wheelchair bound, has faithfully organized it without fail. I have played in all but a few and it is always a highlight. When we were newly out of school, chasing careers and raising families it was a great escape to blow off some steam. It has kept college friends closely connected all this time and I’ve been told this is relatively unique and very valuable. I agree!

So in 2023, in a radical departure, the Stackloaf Tournament changed venue to Roganstown, Ireland for a special 40th addition. To round out the trip, I planned trip extensions. Surprise surprise, fishing before the tourney and golfing afterward.

Chet, Pete and I rented a car at the Dublin airport and drove south to Clonmel and fished for a couple of days on the River Nire and the River Suir. We were guided by Clonanav Fly Fishing, highly recommended. At one point, we were allowed to fish without guides on a lovely evening on the river Nire next to a 17th century bridge and a pub out in the Irish countryside. The pub although not open served us a few Guiness and we had the river and the pub ourselves. We commented this might be heaven.

Chet, Pete and I drove north to the Roganstown Hotel and Golf Club to start the 40th Stackloaf and join the others making us a crew of 16. One crew member, Kyle, worked for the CEO of Guiness for 10 years. He got us a special tour of the Jame’s Gate Brewery. We did a taste test of Guiness Zero versus regular Guiness Draught and found the difference indistinguishable. While ending my dry period in Ireland, Guiness Zero mitigated my alcohol intake significantly.

We played Roganstown, Royal Dublin, County Louth and the European Club. We had a dinner at Royal Dublin that required sport coat and tie. Predictably, we pushed that rule a little. We had the Stackloaf Tournament on the spectacular and difficult European Club golf course and I took second. Another Jim won. Of note, Jim plays the bag pipes on hole 18 every Stackloaf tournament to close out the round. It is always inspiring.

After the Stackloaf ended, Glen and I did a golf extension to Portrush, Northern Ireland . Royal Portrush is a famous course that regularly hosts The Open, (British Open). Glen had a connection that got us on. It was a long 3 hour drive. Glen beat me on 18. I think it helped in him thinking it was the best course we played in Ireland. Out to dinner, we ran into a wild man who owned the best pub in the world. He showed us around and telling us jokes and taking us behind the bar for free drinks. It was a wonderful end to two weeks and my first trip to Ireland.

It’s sad we won’t all get another 40 years together. However, time makes the relationships stronger with more memories and I’m glad to be at the 40 year point.

Going Dry: A new lifestyle

I started April with sinus headaches and a cough deep in my chest from a heavy lingering cold in March. After listening to a Huberman Lab podcast on the deleterious effects of alcohol, I decided my recovery would speed up if I didn’t drink. April turned into a dry month.

I went to a rock concert, Tedeschi Trucks, without any drug induced influences probably for the first time. It was great and alcohol wasn’t missed maybe because Tedeschi Trucks is really good. I found a coping mechanism to stay dry, non alcoholic beer. It seems much of my drinking is habitual; go to grill a burger, grab a beer; conversation with friends before dinner, have a drink. For those habitual moments, I found NA beer a great substitute.

My brother, Tim, turned 60 and we celebrated for a few days at the disneyworld of golf, Pinehurst. He is a great golfer who managed to play 12 seasons in high school and college (ask me how if you want) and still has a passion for the game. He used to qualify for his college team at Pinehurst so it was a fond memory trip as well. His son, Michael, and his daughter, Melanie, joined us. Michael shares Tim’s passion and Melanie shares Tim’s college golfing experience. My brother is my best friend and I don’t spend enough time with him so this was as much a gift for me as a gift for him. Pinehurst was awesome. Golfing without 19th hole alcohol, novel.

Had some midwest time so took the R1T to Michigan to chase steelhead and to Wisconsin to fish the driftless. Shirtsleeves in Michigan and two days later 3 inches of snow and 40 degrees colder in Wisconsin.

Daughter, Emily, wanted to see her brother, Chris in San Francisco, for her birthday so we went. Her boyfriend, Zak, joined us and we did some hiking and fun touristy stuff. A personal highlight was cooking as a family, what a great new experience organized by Chris’s fiancé, Sophie.

Returned through Reno from San Francisco to see friends and golf, hike.

I have broken down and joined a private golf course, Naperville Country Club. My increased golfing and the crowdedness of Naperville area public golf made the decision. Started playing in April. It’s working out.

Over the month of April I felt better and better. My new found health convinced me to continue May alcohol free. Old dog, new tricks, not a thing.

Full Speed

I have learned over the years that having the right cadence to adventures enhances the enjoyment. However in March, the adventures were just too good to miss and there was almost no down time.

We were still in Maui on the first of March on Wailea Beach. Chris and Sophie, son and fiancé, came and stayed with us making Maui so much better. Beth & Ted our old friends were still there so we snorkeled and hiked. I was offered by a company I am invested in a few days stay at a resort on Kona so Lori and I went there as well. We enjoyed getting out to see the great smoldering volcanoes of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa. Night snorkeling with Manta Rays had to be abandoned due to choppy seas. A quick slide show below.

Got home, unpacked, repacked, celebrated our 35th anniversary and I flew to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. One week and 35 years before I had my bachelor party there. My good old friend Dave still has a home there and we skied, downhill and cross country for 4 days. It was great to spend time with he and his wife, Nancy and some other friends Pete and his partner, Susan, and Mike and his wife, Liz. Glad I turned it around fast.

Flew home from Steamboat, unpacked, repacked and flew to the Bahamas, Green Turtle Cay and Abaco Island. Met my good friend Pete, the greatest fly fisherman I know, to wade the flats and chase bonefish and barracuda. He rents a house for the month of March and we take a golf cart around the island / cay then walk into the water and fish. I tied my first gotcha fly and caught bonefish on it. Also a shovel nosed shark got interested in my shuffling feet and gave me a good scare. Pete, being the greatest, caught a giant barracuda with a sensational cast.

Flew back to Miami picked up a car and drove Alligator Alley to pick up my wife at the Ft. Meyers airport and checked into our Airbnb on a canal in Bonita Springs. We went to visit old college friends Mark and Sue in Venice and childhood friends, Denise and Darrin in Bonita Springs. Both of them were renting houses with pools so we did that a couple of afternoons. I have a pair of excellent swimming goggles my niece gave me and I send her goggle pictures from around the world, like New Zealand and Maui.

Our house came with a kayak so we paddled around the canals and bays. One evening after being out late with Darrin and Denise, I noticed a large snook under the dock light at a neighboring home. Despite Lori cautioning me as I had had a few, I jumped in the kayak with my Bahamas fly rod and on the third cast hooked that large snook. It dragged me around the canal and crashed me into the neighbors dock. They came out to see what the commotion was about. Luckily they weren’t angry about the 11:30 pm disturbance but interested and happy to see my catch.

And of course we played golf. It was great fun to be with our good friends.

So it was March 27 and I had been to about 27 happy hours. With my low resistance, I now had a bad cold developing into bronchitis. I swore off happy hours until recovery and shifted to low speed.

Old Friends Month

They say, “You can’t make old friends” but I found out you can rediscover them. We made friends with Beth and Ted in 1989 when I forced Lori to leave friends and family for the sake of career to live in Mechanicburg, PA. Soon after moving in, we became close friends with Beth and Ted saving the marriage or at least making things much easier. Over 10 years ago, we lost touch until this February when we went to Maui adding to our second summer.

Ted and Beth spent 6 months a year in Maui for the past 20 years, own a home there and are no longer haoles. They like living there but not constantly hosting visitors which can easily happen. Suddenly your third cousin expects a place to stay and someone to show them around after you first and second cousins have just left. As friends they haven’t seen on over 10 years, we could have been that kind of visitor. So we weren’t and as I mentioned above you can rediscover old friends.

As the days progressed we did more and more together. We came out of hibernation and were once again old close friends. Lori and I stayed at the beach a few blocks away and planned activities which Beth or Ted either joined or switched to something better. We kayaked, hiked, swam, snorkeled, golfed, whale watched and happy houred the days away with great conversation and laughter. We enjoyed it so much it is not only a do again but a do again in 2024. Below is a slide showing a bit of it.

Earlier in February, I met with some old friends, my fraternity brothers of 40 years, and I have stayed in touch with them. However, old friends like these you have stay in touch with the right amount or your life will go sideways. We rented a house in Naples, FL played golf for a few days and laughed till we our sides hurt. As we are now wiser, there are few pictures. Here is all of them.

Old friends are the best and spending time with them doing cool things is a top notch way to spend your time. We ended February still on the beach in Hawaii and more to be done.

Second Summer

When you are old and in decline, time becomes very finite. I tend to think in terms of how many more summers I have left to wade a stream and hike a mountain. It’s a finite number that seems way too low. Lori and I have found we can get a second summer by heading south. The southern hemisphere has summer when it is winter in the northern. Lori and I went to Chilean Patagonia in January of 2022 and New Zealand in 2023.

In 1990, Lori and I went to the North Island for a week in Auckland and Rotorua enjoying it immensely. So this past January, we went to the South Island for 16 hours of day light and shirt sleeve weather to be outside and active. Our good friends Pete and Susan joined us for the full trip. Shelby and Jack joined us for a week after attending a wedding in Sydney.

We thoroughly enjoyed the South Island and will be back in 2025. If you are looking for fine dining, world class architecture, art museums or a sophisticated urban environment don’t go. Also there is no Serengeti or Yellowstone with outstanding land wildlife viewing. However, if you are looking for great outdoor activities in a stunning landscape don’t miss it. They also have a solid wine country and lots of sheep. Below is a slide show of some Queenstown based activities.

In addition to Queenstown we stayed in Frans Joseph, Hokitika, Nelson, Kai Kura and Christchurch for a total of three weeks before heading home. Epic, awesome, etc. Pictures are worth a thousand words.

Of note is that all these activities were, on time, professionally guided, well equipped and otherwise squared away. We always felt in the know when embarking. Lori and I are really looking forward to our next second summer down under.

Timing

Well three weeks after son Chris got engaged to Sophie, Son Jack got engaged to Shelby. My wife, Lori, said, ” I hope they’re talking to each other about this so their weddings don’t overlap. They then both said we are planning to wed next fall. Weird timing!

After extensive travel all year it was nice to be home for December. Our children, their fiancés and friends all made it back for the holidays. Lori’s family joined us as well and we had several gatherings. Also, we slid out to Philadelphia to have Goose Day with my brother’s family and my mom. It was a great holiday connecting with family.

Finally we had a celebration of life for my dad who passed in August. Lots of family and friends had a happy warm get together at Dad’s old club which was fitting given his love of golf. It was the first time in a long time my whole family and my brother’s whole family got together. Just a great way to end the year.

Unexpected Expansion

At 27, I married and was warmly received by my wife’s local, highly connected and kind family. Coming from a small dispersed family it was a happy expansion and a new unexpected experience.

Thirty four years later, my wife, daughter and I went to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving to meet my son and his new fiancé, Sophie. Sophie’s family was getting together and it was an opportunity to meet her parents. Unexpectedly, it turned into a wonderful expansion of family. To have this after so many years was really great. I hadn’t thought about it until it happened creating a happy surprise.

Aunt Harriet, 91, hosted a feast for forty of multiple generations of siblings and cousins. We were greeted warmly and everyone made it a point to introduce themselves and welcome us. A personal highlight was spending some time with Mendel, a holocaust survivor who still bore the numerical tattoo on her wrist. It was a marvelous evening filled with laughter. Subsequently, Sophie’s parents rolled out the red carpet showing us LA and hosting a personal dinner in their home. We left feeling connected and looking forward to the next time we got together. A few pictures of our trip below.

Earlier in the month we had another happy expansion. Our other son and his girlfriend invited us to vacation with them in the Canary Islands. So we said yes and went. I figure hanging on to family is just as important. When your children, who are off being independent ask you to join, it’s important to be with them. The Canaries were good not great so probably not looking to go back. We also stopped in Birmingham, England on the way home to spend a little more time with them.

It was a fantastic November, because of the family we have and new family we will have. A marvelous turn of events we wouldn’t have expected in October.

Shakedown

I felt cool telling people I was shaking down my R1T with a trip to Minnesota. Even though, deep down, I knew they weren’t impressed or really even cared. And when I say shake down it doesn’t mean to rob or con. It means testing systems, properly equipping and setting up, and learning how to operate.

So I chose an over night trip to Lanesboro, MN to fish the driftless area, a 6 hour drive. I learned to do a high speed charging pit stop in Madison, WI and an overnight slow charge at a Lanesboro public charger. I felt range anxiety and learned about losing range by driving 80 mph. I was missing a tool to set up my rod racks to hold fishing rods. I learned and tested settings for mud and rocks and sand. I worked with entertainment, navigation, and storage. All systems are operational. My range anxiety is slightly diminished. And I am more confident in taking the R1T on a longer trip.

By the way, the trip was pretty good as well. Lanesboro is a cool town and the fishing is pretty good as well, wild brown trout in beautiful spring creeks.

Got to do a lot of other fun stuff in October. Slide show below.

Getting a new complicated thing then shaking it down is very satisfying. After spending to acquire the investment feels worthwhile post shakedown, unless it doesn’t. Luckily the R1T post shake down is a significant improvement over the Ridgeline is almost every way.